Effective Communication – Brilliant People

The Managers Are Not All Right

Brettne Shootman — Thu, 21 Apr 2022 16:00:00 +0000

The managers are not all right. Why? Because they’re trying to ‘manage’ through the effects of the fourth industrial revolution, a worldwide pandemic, and the Great Resignation with the management styles of a bygone era. And a recent survey by SHRM (Society for Human Resource Management) shows how damaging these poor management practices are.

84% of American workers say poorly trained people managers create a lot of unnecessary work and stress
57% of American workers say managers in their workplace could benefit from training on how to be a better people manager
35% of those surveyed said that managers need to know how to cultivate a positive and inclusive team culture

Because the manager accounts for so much of an employee’s work experience, it’s really imperative that organizations help managers improve their people skills. They need to provide development in the mindset and methods that will empower managers to lead better. In particular, managers need to build listening and empathy skills, and help their employees feel like they belong.

Managers Need to Listen

In most organizations, the biggest emphasis at work is placed on output. What’s missing is the connection and community that makes people want to engage in their work. This is crucial because the better our working relationships, the more we actually produce. Essential to building good working relationships is the art of listening.

“We have 2 ears and 1 mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” Epictitus

I say that it is an art form because it’s not a skill that comes naturally to most people. Usually when we are in conversation with another person, we listen with the intent to respond; to share our side of an issue, tell a similar story that we’ve experienced, or completely change the subject. To really listen requires focus, patience and a desire to truly understand what is being said. It focuses solely on the speaker. One such method is ‘Active Listening’. While the speaker talks, the listener pays close attention to the explicit and underlying details, using only non-verbal cues to show that they are listening. This could be as simple as nodding your head. It’s important not to interrupt and stop the flow the information. Only once the speaker finishes, should the listener summarize the key points of what they heard and then ask for confirmation. Then the speaker can clarify any misunderstandings. Active listening is an excellent way for a manager to gain information and perspective, and to show an employee that what they have to say matters.

Managers Must Show Empathy

The second skill managers should develop is empathy. This is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. The idea of having and sharing feelings at work often makes people uncomfortable, though, making this a major roadblock to effective management. To begin to engage in empathetic leadership, managers need to let their employees know that they are there for them. Employees should be encouraged to openly and regularly ask questions, take appropriate risks, and discuss obstacles with management. And sharing personal struggles should be encouraged as well. Empathy is a cornerstone of relationship building because it serves to improve communication and collaboration. A truly cohesive team has no fear around these types of behaviors.

Managers Have to Create a Sense of Belonging

The third thing managers should focus on at work is creating a sense of belonging. Employees today want to feel safe and wanted at work. And when they don’t, they look for jobs elsewhere. This is happening in almost every industry and is especially relevant to remote workers. However, managers can help reduce the effects of the ‘great resignation’ by working to help employees feel like they belong. In fact, BetterUp research shows that fostering belonging can lead to a 50% lower risk of turnover. Plus, employees who feel they belong take 75% fewer sick days, which means they’re more productive at work. To begin to build a sense of belonging managers must first embrace the idea of diversity and inclusion and make sure their teams reflect this. Then they need to make sure people feel welcome. This is especially important for new hires who won’t be familiar with the company culture, and remote workers who don’t have the same opportunities to get to know their teammates. Helping each team member understand their role and how it fits into the bigger picture and overall corporate vision/mission is another excellent way to help people feel like they belong.

The Ripple Effect

In today’s workplace, managing effectively means working alongside the team to make sure they have what they need when they need it. The ability to listen well, show empathy and help employees feel like they belong can create a great team culture. And these behaviors will create a ripple effect. When a manager shows they care, employees feel freer to show that they care to their fellow workmates. When other teams see the camaraderie and productivity happening they will want to figure out how to bring those experiences to their team. The more managers listen, empathize and help others feel like they belong, the more successful they will be.

The skills mentioned in this article are related to emotional intelligence. Unlike IQ, EQ can definitely be improved over time. To get started, reach out to us about our Agile EQ program.

The Culture (R)evolution Starts With You!

The Steps to Productive Conflict

Brettne Shootman — Thu, 07 Apr 2022 16:00:00 +0000

There are five steps to productive conflict. Wait, productive conflict? I know it’s hard to imagine because most people when they hear the word ‘conflict’ think of fighting, yelling, and arguing. What they’re referring to and what you’re probably thinking about right now, is destructive conflict. The negative kind of conflict that leaves hurt feelings, usually ends in stalemate, and over time can lead to a loss of productivity, effectiveness and engagement at work. This type of conflict wastes time and energy, and damages relationships. Productive conflict, on the other hand, is a healthy version of conflict that focuses on finding solutions in a respectful manner. One way to reach productive conflict is to utilize the 5 Steps to Resolution by Orrin Woodward.

Step 1: Affirm the Relationship

When you’re in conflict with someone, you’re usually not happy with the other person. So Step 1 encourages you to remember why you have a relationship with this person in the first place. Then take the time to tell the other person how much you value them. For example, “We work closely together on a lot of projects and I value our relationship. So I am ok hashing this out with you so that we can get to a better place.”

Step 2: Seek to Understand

This step actually pays homage to Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Everyone wants to be heard and valued. This is just inherent to the human psyche. So this step makes us stop and listen. Instead of talking over each other trying to make sure that our viewpoint is the last one to be heard, we need to take the time to listen to what the other person is feeling. What do they want? What is important to them? The idea is to listen intently and repeat back to them what you heard. For example, “Let me see if I understand what you are saying. You feel…. Or You want….”

Step 3: Seek to Be Understood

Once you’ve listened to why the other person feels the way they do, you’ve put what you heard into words, and they’ve agreed that you got it right, it’s your turn to share. This isn’t the time to let yourself get riled up. In fact, it’s really important that you keep your emotions in check or you’ll negate any progress you may have made in step two. So calmly and respectfully share your point of view on the issue at hand. When you’re finished ask the other person to please recap what you’ve shared with them to make sure they heard what you intended for them to hear.

Step 4: Own Responsibility By Apologizing

This may be the hardest step for many of you, but it’s crucial to productive conflict and reaching a resolution. When you’re in conflict with someone, you may not be aware of the damage it has caused to your relationship. So own as much of the conflict as possible while still being truthful. For example, “I’m sorry that I dismissed your idea and talked over you in the meeting.” Even if you absolutely feel that you did nothing wrong, you can own the fact that you did not understand where the other person was coming from, and that you’d like get a better understanding now.

Step 5: Seek Agreement

Now it’s time to find a way forward out of the conflict. Have a discussion about what you would each like to see happen by repeating Steps 2 & 3. Wherever you find mutual agreement is a logical first step. However, also realize that compromise is key here. You don’t have to be in complete agreement in order to resolve the conflict. You just have to make some progress in the situation. In fact, if your conflict involves more than one issue or has evolved over a long period of time, you may have to start small. Choose one thing to commit to and then keep the commitment. This will build trust and decrease the likelihood of future conflicts over the same issue.

To Wrap It Up

Conflict is inevitable in the workplace when have a lot of different personality types from different backgrounds, and who have different priorities, motivations, stressors and emotional needs. However, it doesn’t have to be destructive. Conflict when done correctly is actually the gateway to the truth: better and brighter innovation as well as improved team dynamics. To get there utilize the 5 Steps to Resolution to engage in productive conflict. Oh and one last thing! Do the steps in person if at all possible. There’s just too much lost in written communication.

To improve your team’s ability to embrace productive conflict, call us. The Culture (R)evolution Starts With You!

Giving Feedback Is Crucial to Work Performance

Brettne Shootman — Thu, 03 Mar 2022 18:00:00 +0000

Giving feedback is crucial to work performance. Every action we take causes a reaction and the reaction or feedback we receive helps us learn whether or not to repeat the action. In essence, to learn and improve we must receive and then act on the feedback we’ve been given. In and of itself this information is a learning tool and isn’t positive or negative.

Yet most of us cringe at the idea of receiving feedback, especially if it’s critical in any way. And many leaders hesitate to give it because it can be hard to hold people accountable. Feedback is often viewed as a necessary evil only given during the annual review. Some choose not to give it at all, at least in the formal sense. And yet, feedback clarifies expectations, helps people learn from their mistakes, and builds confidence. All of which are important to succeeding at work and building a positive workplace culture.

A study by Zenger/Folkman revealed that 72% of the participants believed that if their employers provided constructive feedback, work performance and productivity would improve. In addition, 57% of the participants felt that constructive feedback is better than just focusing on personal qualities and work wins. But of course, how the feedback is given is critical to whether or not the recipient can learn and grow from it. One way to ensure that the message encourages growth is to learn to speak to personality type.

Giving Feedback by Personality Type

Personality type largely determines how people show up at work because it impacts individual motivation, reactions to stress, and emotional needs. Since individuals on a team most likely have a range of personality types, this may seem daunting at first. But it’s worth the effort! Providing regular positive & critical (less is more) feedback to employees improves trust and engagement, which ultimately leads to more profitability.

To get started, we encourage managers to become familiar with the Everything DiSC model. There are 4 major personality types and they each show up differently at work. To meet each individual where they are, it’s important to understand how to communicate most effectively with each type.

Giving Feedback to The D-type

When giving feedback to the D-type personality remember that they prefer to have direct discussions. They don’t need you to walk them around the block to get to the point. Instead, they’ll appreciate it if you get right to the point and honestly relay the information. They don’t need the chit-chat and may not want to linger to discuss. Of course, the D-type personality does have feelings, so remember to first point out the things you appreciate about their efforts.

Giving Feedback to The i-type

These are the extroverted, fun-loving, idea-generating, social butterflies on the team. They tend to have a lot of words and need to get them all out by the end of the day. To some, this might come across as attention-seeking and they would be right! The emotional needs of the i-type include attention and also appreciation. Giving feedback then should always begin by asking how they’re doing and or feeling. It will break the ice and help them to be more comfortable. This should be followed by focusing on what they’re doing well. And when giving critical feedback make sure that you offer a tangible process for tracking improvement and then check in with them often.

Giving Feedback to The S-Type

These people are the quiet workers, often in the background making sure everyone else feels included and smoothing teammate’s ruffled feathers. Really, they’re like the glue that holds the team together because they have a need for stability and harmony. Since they’re typically quiet and happy to work in the background, some managers and teammates may assume that they don’t need accolades. But boy, would they be wrong! One of the main emotional needs of the S-type is to feel their worth on the team. When giving feedback then, first make sure they know how much you value their work, their calm presence, and their ability to work behind the scenes.

Giving Feedback to The C-Type

The C-type focuses heavily on getting things right. They work hard to make sure all t’s are crossed and i’s are dotted. But doing so may cause them to take longer than they had anticipated. In fact, they often underestimate how long something will take them to complete. They also tend to show very little emotion. They look at the world logically and have little patience for workplace drama. And so they often just to prefer to work alone. Giving feedback to the C-type should be based on numbers and facts, and held in private. These people also need to know that you are there to support them if they need it. They rarely ask for help, so it’s important that a manager pay close attention to how they handle their workload.

To Wrap It Up

Providing feedback based on personality type is an excellent way for managers to show team members that they care about them personally. It reveals that managers are willing to meet their people where they are, and help them move forward. But managers can’t stop there. They have to get into the habit of giving feedback on a regular basis. The combination of regular personalized feedback is what is going to improve individual performance and team dynamics. This is especially true for teams with remote members. As the ‘great resignation’ continues, this one process is key to a manager’s success.

At Brilliant People the foundation of our programming is personality development. Reach out to learn how to put this information to use in your workplace!

Building Connection & Community in the Workplace

Brettne Shootman — Thu, 03 Feb 2022 18:02:00 +0000

Connection and community in the workplace have suffered a major setback since the onset of the pandemic. Remote work, quarantining, and mask-wearing just isn’t conducive to building relationships. And yet, this idea of relatedness is one of our most basic psychological needs. As humans, we have an emotional need to socialize and build strong relationships with other people. When we connect well with others we feel like we belong. We also feel secure and even intrinsically motivated. But, if we’re unable to relate to those around us, we become anxious and stressed. How this manifests at work depends on personality type as we’ve explained before. But the bottom line is that employee engagement and job satisfaction tanks when people can’t relate to others at work.

Now the fact that our mental health affects how we function at work isn’t new information. It’s just getting more attention now, thanks to the pandemic. COVID-19 upended a lot of our work norms. In particular, how we congregate and interact in order to build connection and community. And this inability to relate to others in a meaningful way is causing the emotional health of millions of employees to suffer. It’s encouraging, however, that many organizations are now looking for solutions. #mentalhealthrevolution

This is great news because, to be honest, our emotional needs are like oxygen. Think about it like this. If you are using an oxygen machine, more than likely it’s not because it’s a nice-to-have. Now imagine if someone stepped on the tube and stopped the flow of air to your lungs. Would that oxygen be a ‘need’ or just a ‘want’? RIGHT. And just like our lungs need air, our human psyche needs to connect/relate to those we work with. So how do we encourage more relatedness at work? We do it by improving our emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to read both the emotional and interpersonal needs of a situation and respond accordingly. The different personality types tend to think about and approach interactions with others based on certain mindsets. There are eight mindsets and each personality type can easily access the 3 closest to them on the DiSC map (see diagram). So the EQ strengths that come naturally to you, may be very different from your coworkers and or your boss, depending on their personality style.

For example, the Dominant or ‘D’ type tends to be resolute, whereas the Influencer or ‘i’ style usually shows up as dynamic. The Steady or ‘S’ style is receptive, whereas the Conscientious or ’C’ style is objective. These mindsets are the ones they feel the most comfortable with; their normal go to’s in an emotional situation. The problem is that not all situations can be resolved with just the mindsets that come naturally to a person. And that’s where the idea of emotional agility comes in because to be agile you have to be able to access the other mindsets.

Let’s say you work with an ‘i’ style. This teammate comes in every day with fresh ideas for a project that you are working on together. You are a ‘D’ style and want to stick with the approach the two of you agreed upon last week. You knew the first time it was discussed that it was the right thing to do and you committed. Now you are resolute in your decision. Your teammate, however, has doubts. If the two of you are to work together successfully, you have to come to an agreement on how to move forward. This is where you might have to stretch or flex into a mindset that is less comfortable for you. If you can look objectively at your teammate’s ideas (like the ‘C’ style) and listen receptively (like the ‘S’ style), you’re going to be much more likely to come to an agreement.

Using different mindsets to address the emotional and interpersonal needs of your situation paves a way forward for your project. And it also serves to improve the relationship with your teammate. I mean, we all want to be listened to and have our ideas validated. Even if the ideas we propose aren’t the ones that end up being used, we can usually buy-in because we’ve had the opportunity to weigh in. And when we feel heard and valued, it’s because someone has tried to meet us where we are. They’ve tried to ‘relate’ to us and that effort helps to improve relationships.

EQ consists of a number of soft skills related to the different mindsets. But there is nothing soft about how these skills can improve connection and community, and drive performance. For example, recent research shows that since March 2020, the skill of relationship building has grown 5.5x in importance. So being able to stretch into other mindsets in order to build and maintain relationships at work can be a major differentiator for a manager or team lead. Leaders who effectively build good relationships improve the level of trust between themselves and their teammates. And that leads to more collaboration and higher productivity.

It’s clear that the upheaval and associated anxiety from the pandemic has impacted our mental health. Contributing to this is a lack of relatedness and connection at work. And although our human ability to buckle down and push through a crisis is great, we can’t do it forever. With no real end in sight to the COVID-19 crisis, we have to lean into ways to support ourselves and each other. One way to do that is to improve our emotional intelligence. Luckily for all of us, EQ isn’t a fixed score or measurement. Anyone can improve their emotional agility through practice. Doing this will improve our relationships and help us all to feel more connected at work. After all, connection and community at work are what we all crave.

To build on the EQ strengths of your team or department, we offer an excellent half-day program specific to improving emotional intelligence at work. Give us a call to see if it’s the right fit for your organization!