Emotional agility is the ability to recognize the emotions in a social or emotional situation and then act appropriately. It means not letting your emotions rule your actions and to instead channel them productively by paying attention to people’s moods, body language, and other social cues. And it’s responsible for 58% of job performance! The problem is that being able to flex into a mindset that doesn’t come naturally to you can be difficult, especially when emotions or the stakes are high.   

You can, however, learn to flex into the other mindsets with patience and practice. According to the DiSC model, there are 8 different emotional intelligence mindsets that relate to personality type. Most people have 3-4 that they are naturally inclined to use. For example, a Dominant or ‘D’ type will usually have no problem being self-assured, dynamic, and resolute. But this same manager might struggle to show empathy and be objective, which could have devastating consequences for a team.  

Managers actually need to be able to access as many mindsets as possible in order to build relationships and motivate their diverse teams.  In fact, emotional agility at work is your #1 superpower, and you don’t have to wear a cape to wield it. Instead, just focus on becoming more self-aware, showing empathy, and encouraging productive conflict. Improving in these three areas will help you be a better manager. And considering that managers are responsible for 70% of the variance in employee engagement, the effort you put in will be worth it in the long run. 

Self-Awareness Build Emotional Agility

The absolute first step to improving emotional agility is to become more self-aware. This means being able to objectively look at your own behavior; how you relate to and impact those around you. Of course, this can be difficult because it’s sometimes hard to admit that there are areas that need improvement. And to make matters worse, the things we can’t see are usually the things that need to be changed! But managers that put in the work to become more self-aware help their companies perform better. According to The Korn/Ferry Institute, companies with a higher percentage of self-aware employees (individual contributors to top-level executives) outperformed companies with a lower percentage.  

Empathy Builds Emotional Agility

The second skill a manager should improve to become emotionally agile is empathy. To be empathetic means having the ability to see a situation from someone else’s point of view. Understanding someone else’s ‘why’ gives a manager greater insight into a direct report’s actions and reactions. A manager who can show empathy appropriately will be more effective at building trust within the team, motivating team members and communicating in general. And it’s important to realize that you don’t have to agree with someone to show empathy. Being an empathetic listener shows that the other person’s feelings matter, that their point of view matters, and that you value them as a person even if you disagree with their point of view or how they feel.   

Emotional Agility Includes Productive Conflict

The third area that a manager can work on to become more emotionally agile is conflict. Most people consider conflict to be a bad thing because it often causes anger and hurt feelings. But it is possible to receive instruction on how to engage in conflict differently. Productive conflict is a means of getting to the point of the problem. It’s the ability to come to a consensus without losing your temper or saying something that you’ll later regret. Engaging in productive conflict allows you and your team to work through issues in a way that lets all voices be heard. And when people have the opportunity to weigh in, they will more often buy in. They just need you, as the manager, to model the behavior.  

As 2022 comes to an end and you’re considering how to improve your management style, consider honing the skills of self-reflection, empathy, and productive conflict. These are the soft skills that will help you flex into the emotional mindsets that may not come naturally to you, but that are crucial to your success as a manager. So set your sight on improving your emotional agility in 2023. Your direct reports will thank you! 

To help managers improve emotionally agility, we offer the Everything DiSC Agile EQ program to show learners where personal development may be needed, why it is needed, and how it can be actualized. Call us today to learn more about this amazing opportunity! 

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Your Personality at Work

“Thaw with his gentle persuasion is more powerful than Thor with his hammer. The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.”

– Henry D. Thoreau  

The art of persuasion is an important skill in a manager’s tool kit.  A successful manager doesn’t just direct and delegate. It’s not like writing a sequence of code and then letting the computer do the rest. Managers must also be able to make suggestions to others in a manner that ensures they are heard, and they need to be able to rally the team around goals and objectives. To do so, they must first connect with each team member on a basic level by taking into consideration their individual needs.  

This isn’t about “The Golden Rule” because treating others as you would want to be treated will only take you so far. Therefore, a better approach is understanding the needs of the person you’re engaging with and then working to connect with them based on that information. We’re all wired differently, so when a manager focuses on what resonates for each team member, they have the power to strengthen those relationships. And stronger relationships lead to higher engagement, productivity and a sense of belonging. 

What Gets in the Way 

The problem is that typically, humans approach a given situation with only their own needs in mind, which can shut down communication before it has even begun. For example, when in a crisis, heated argument or stressful situation, emotions often take over. Rational thought and logic flee the scene and what is left is a first instinct that is often wrong. Take this scenario, for example: Imagine a coworker who is hard charging, going 90-to-nothing most of the time vs one who is slow to respond because they take ample time to process before they respond.  One is a “ready, fire, aim” type, while the other might be more like “ready aim, aim, aim.”  

Without proper understanding of each other’s personality type, team members will have a hard time working cohesively, and possibly even be offended by each other’s behaviors. But when we take the time to understand what inspires others or what shuts them down, we can use the art of persuasion to influence our work relationships for the better and meet management goals. All it takes is a few minor tweaks in a manager’s approach to the different personality types.  

Persuasion Techniques 

The ‘D’ type personality is motivated by competition and achievement. They often take charge because they may be questioning whether the other teammates want to win as much as they do. This competitive nature and desire to be out front often makes them look like natural born leaders. And, because others tend to look to them to lead, having a ‘D’ type personality on your side might be to your team’s benefit. When needing to use persuasion, remember to focus on their needs. The ‘D’ personality needs to know what’s in it for them.  Share any benefits that will affect them personally. They won’t want a lot of detail, just the over-arching picture, and if they need more, they’ll ask.  

The ‘I’ type personality is very people oriented (vs task oriented) and are naturally gifted in influencing and persuasion. Teammates are often drawn to their enthusiasm and optimism, so a manager should look to get the ‘i’ type on board. They can be instrumental in helping the rest of the team get excited or at least willing to tackle the next project, goal, or other things coming down the line. To encourage them to get on your side, you’ll need to first meet them where they are. The ‘i’ type needs to verbally process and they are emotionally expressive. So, take the time to hear how and what they’re doing before trying to persuade them to your ideas. Let them feel your approval and appreciation and don’t give them too many details as it might be a bit too much to take in. They’ll fill in the gaps where needed with their own creativity so be willing to allow some of that. 

The ‘S’ type personality is a great collaborator so persuading them to be a part of the team won’t be difficult. They naturally want to support others. But if you’re asking them to change how they do things, you’ll need to tread carefully. The ‘S’ type feels threatened by change. They may nod their heads and smile in the face of confrontation, and then refuse to change their tactics when you aren’t looking. They aren’t intentionally trying to sabotage your plans, but this is a key reminder of why it’s super important to use the art of persuasion to help the ‘S’ type feel more comfortable. This means that if possible, use the BYAF technique that tells them they have a choice. According to a 2013 review of 43 research studies and 22,000 participants, using the ‘but you are free’ (BYAF) technique doubles the chances that someone will say ‘yes’ to a request. The psychology of allowing the other person to make a decision on the subject you’re discussing makes them more likely to agree with you. 

The ‘C’ type personality looks at the world through the lens of logic and analysis. They want as much data as possible before they make decisions because they want to be as accurate as possible. They are extremely valuable on a team because of this but they often don’t really like to ‘team’. They just want to be left alone so they can complete their work in silence and control the outcome. If a manager wants to win them over or encourage them to take the lead on a project, they need to come to the table with data. The more the better. This might come in the form of recent survey statistics, research studies, or logistics. Anything that shows what you’re asking them to do is valuable and valid. And then be prepared to answer all their questions. This isn’t because they don’t trust your plan, they just want to clarify exactly what you mean and what you want from them.  

Trust on a Team  

“Progress happens at the speed of trust.”

– Stephen M. R. Covey 

When managers take the time to get to know the different personality types on their team, the act of persuasion will be much easier and responded to more positively. In addition, managers that endeavor to communicate with their teams in this personalized manner will build relationships founded on trust and respect. And trust is the cohesive team’s superpower. Teams with high trust communicate and collaborate more effectively than those without trust.  

Sadly, some still view the idea of ‘trust’ as a poor alternative to productivity. The truth however has been revealed by Accenture, who’s research shows that when trust drops by a mere 2 points, EBITDA is compromised and decreases by 9.8% (global average)!! Therefore, trust or the lack thereof can seriously impact the bottom line, and this is crucial for managers to understand. Without trust, it’s difficult to progress no matter how skilled a manager is in persuasion. 

Setting managers up for success is what we do at Brilliant People. Call us today for more information.  

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Your Personality at Work

Faulty perception shows up in almost every conversation or scenario at work and can wreak havoc on our relationships with coworkers.  Maybe you’ve experienced one of the following situations:  

• Approaching a coworker (your boss, a peer, or even the front desk admin, who’s usually the most upbeat person in the office. But for whatever reason, they don’t respond to you as you were expecting) 
• You ask for advice or pose what you consider to be an urgent question, and your coworker doesn’t seem to care 

• There’s a deadline, and you feel you need extra support, but your manager can’t be bothered 

Now let’s flip it around. Have you ever been stressed, sad or angry at work and  

• Responded abruptly to a coworker?  
• Ignored or avoided a colleague because you didn’t have time for them?  

• Agreed to something to avoid conflict but then didn’t carry through? 

These are all common scenarios at work where misperceptions occur because, as humans, we often don’t realize how the people around us perceive our actions. Unfortunately, how we think we show up for others is not typically how they experience us. For instance, in one of the earlier examples, you need support from your manager, but you ‘perceive’ that he/she doesn’t care, solely based on their response to the situation. You are offended, but your manager is clueless. Your manager has no idea that his/her response (or lack thereof) has caused you to alter reality and start making stuff up in your head. You tell yourself things like: they just don’t care – they’re mean – they’re only out for themselves!

Are We Speaking The Same Language? 

Although perceptions like these are often incorrect, it’s what we do when we are not speaking the same language of as our coworkers.  I don’t mean languages like English, Spanish or French. I’m talking about the language of personality. Because when we don’t understand why our coworkers show up the way they do, we cannot effectively communicate with them. To communicate effectively we need to understand their emotional needs. And, yeah, I know – talking about emotions is not necessarily encouraged at work. But we aren’t talking about being touchy-feely. The research shows that we show up in the world and respond to our environments based on our emotional needs.  

Understanding the four major DiSC types can give you insight into the emotional needs of each person in your organization. For example, the Dominant personality type has a need for control and accomplishment, whereas the Influencer’s needs are all about appreciation and acceptance. The Steady needs to feel valued and listened to, whereas the Conscientious has the need to be correct and prefers to work alone. If we aren’t aware of these needs for ourselves and our coworkers, communication is difficult with misperceptions happening constantly.  

Stories Can Be Dangerous 

When a misperception occurs, our brain moves into storytelling mode. This is because we’re neurologically wired to make something up when we’re confused about how a conversation or event played out or how someone responded to us, especially if there were negative undertones. Our brain needs for the situation to make sense. It’s a safety thing. And, the brain is so incredible that it will reward us (through a dopamine hit, as an example) when we create a story around a situation that makes sense. And that is whether the story is true or not!  

Once we’ve made up a story, a new narrative based on that story affects how we respond the next time we interact with the same person. It can even influence how we treat the next person we see or talk to. Ever snapped at someone about something, only to realize later that it wasn’t them you were frustrated with? It was the person you spoke to BEFORE them. They just happened to get caught in the line of fire. So, misperceptions allow us to create some impressive storylines, but most of the time, they just aren’t true. And they can be seriously detrimental to our work relationships. 

Stories With A Happy Ending

If we want to improve our experience at work, though, we need to be willing to get curious when we feel our emotions being hijacked. When we notice our discomfort or confusion because of a coworker’s response to us, it’s an opportunity to dig in a little before we go down the path of some made-up story. Because the reality is there are always two sides to a story.  

This isn’t about making excuses for their behavior. Instead, it’s about trying to understand why they responded the way they did and why you reacted the way you did. Take some time to reflect and consider how you can show up in a way that meets both of your needs. This may require a conversation and some studying up on the DiSC personality types. Not only will this lead to improved communication, but it will also create connection.

When you show you care enough to get to know someone else’s emotional needs, you begin to create a bond of trust. Since trust is the basis of any good relationship, it’s a worthy spend of your time and energy. And the next time your brain goes into storytelling mode, you’ll be able to realistically create a happy ending.  

If you’d like to improve the storytelling in your work environment, give us a call. We provide DiSC assessments and training on the Diversity of Personalities. 

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Your Personality at Work

We’ve all heard about personality tests and it’s likely we’ve taken at least a few of them during our career. From DISC to Myers Briggs to Tilt and The Enneagram, personality tests have been used to better understand character traits in the workplace for years. And they are still some of the best predictors of behavior.

However, these assessments are not best used as a stand alone product, although there are many organizations using them in just this way. Well intentioned people leaders (HR, managers, Learning & Development leaders or even individual team members wanting to up their game) think that taking the assessment is all that’s needed. But it can’t stop there. It’s much like the quote: Knowledge is power. The reality is that knowledge alone doesn’t bring power… A more realistic way of looking at it is: Knowledge applied is power. 

So, when organizations find themselves looking at the possibility of another assessment in hopes of bringing their teams together, what should they do? Well, what they shouldn’t do is assume the employee will know what to do with the information about themselves, much less how to utilize it for a better employee experience. If you think about it, leadership development is close to a $400 billion dollar industry worldwide and close to $200 billion in the US alone yet, a majority of these programs have failed to create the desired results. Why is that? Because a good many organizations aren’t willing to do the follow up work required to embed the information learned in a way that creates a common language among employees. This is the path to sustained behavior change. This is the path to true organizational health. 

With that in mind, the first step is deciding on the best assessment and training for the challenges you might be facing in your organization. From there, want to know the best way to help your people digest and utilize the information individually and collectively as a team? Keep reading as we lay out the issue from both sides of the management coin: the perspective of the manager as well as those developing them.  

Know Thyself  

First, let’s look at how an individual manager can take the information gleaned from a personality assessment and use it to become a better manager. Before you can understand others, you’ve got to understand yourself. Reviewing the results from your completed report and owning the parts that resonate is step 1. After that, bringing your direct reports together to share all team member results is step 2. Understanding how each individual affects team dynamics is crucial and opens the door for conversations around how everyone on the team is wired.                

For example, what motivates one person may shut another person down. And, the emotional needs of one are likely the complete opposite of another’s. In fact, unfulfilled emotional needs at work are one of the biggest contributors to poor performance and engagement. So, a crucial step in the process is to explore the results of your team’s assessments together, looking at them from all angles to understand the people who work for you and allowing them to understand everyone else on the team, including you. As a manager, your willingness to be open and honest with your own results, is the foundational step toward building trust on the team. From there, it’s a matter of finding ways to keep the conversation alive. Include an icebreaker at the start of your weekly meetings that is based on information gleaned from the completed results. Encourage people to revisit the information weekly or monthly. Challenge them to consider areas for improvement based on their assessment results. Creating opportunities to purposely and mindfully use the information will continue adding to that foundation of trust. In addition, it will encourage effective communication skills along the way. That should be the long-term goal.

Challenge for the Manager Who’s Large and In Charge: 

• What can you do to help your team implement the information so that it becomes a common language embedded in your overall team dynamic?  
• How can you lead by example as a manager?

A Growth Plan For Managers

When we think about the people responsible for an engaged workforce we may immediately lay some blame on the managers. We’ve likely all had a manager at some point in our career that we felt was the cause of our own personal hell. In some situations, it might have even been true, but the responsibility isn’t typically only in a direct manager. It also lies with those who develop managers. As you may have witnessed (or possibly had this happen to you), sometimes individual contributors get elevated into management positions they just aren’t ready for. In our current post pandemic environment and on the heels (or possibly still fully in the middle) of The Great Resignation, some companies just need warm bodies to fill the void that is happening from a mass exodus. We get it. You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do, even if it means elevating someone who’s not yet there. But, elevating someone to a management position should only be the beginning of their journey. Organizations have to do better at empowering emerging leaders with the skills necessary to manage others to success.

Unfortunately, a lot of organizations don’t have any follow through when it comes to learning and development. They think a “one ’n done” deal is going to do the trick and when it doesn’t, they blame the training or program, rather than realizing that they didn’t support the system. For sustainable change to occur, you have to provide opportunities for employees to keep these Learning & Development conversations alive in the organization, creating a common language for the entire staff. 

Which brings me to another issue: the assessments being used. When teams within an organization are not learning the same language, it might be something akin to the Wild West. You’ve got a bunch of teams all out for themselves, and not for the greater good of the company! 

Leadership needs to decide a path forward and get the buy-in from their teams so that each team is getting the same information, and applying it in the way that works best for  their teams. All while speaking the same language. Without buy-in you’re just checking a box for giving the assessment and assuming that employees

will (1) want to dig into the information they get from their completed reports, and (2) be compelled or even understand what to do with the information.  A leader should never assume the information learned through the assessment will be ingrained in the employee’s mind immediately.  

Growth Plan Challenge:

For true, sustainable behavior change, the information gleaned through the personality profile needs to be woven throughout the organization, in a variety of ways. 

• Encourage managers to understand the individual dynamics for each of the personality types on their teams, starting with their own. When people know who they are in the mix and why they show up the way they do (from their natural wiring to life experiences), it often opens a door of possibility. It creates some ah-ha moments in an individual, allowing them to get to that next level – actually caring about why someone else shows up the way they do and wanting to learn more about that.
• Inspire managers to make space for empathy. When they have learned who they are and who others are on their teams, as well as why they show up the way they do, empathy around those differences goes a long way.
• Motivate managers to use their teams completed reports to have more effective interactions with their direct reports, teammates or even their boss. The information included in these reports can be the game changer in an effort to level up their relationships at work both horizontally, as well as vertically. 

Conclusion:

Personality assessments have been around for years and will continue to evolve allowing us to better understand character traits in the workplace. The trick will be to pair them with appropriate training that solidifies the information gleaned through the completed report. 

Well intentioned leaders who use them as stand alone products do their employees and the organizations they work for a disservice.  The information has to be embedded in the fabric of the workplace, creating a common language for all. So, how does that happen?

Organizations have to be willing to provide ongoing follow up that embeds the information learned in a way that creates a common language among employees. The path to sustained behavior change really is that simple. 

As a manager, or a leader developing them, remember these strategies for building cohesive, collaborative teams.

1. One off training sessions don’t work and usually just end up irritating employees because it takes time away from things they feel need to get done. Providing assessments and training around a given challenge, helping them understand who they are in the midst of that challenge, allows them to see how they might play a part in the solution. 
2. Never assume that learning of any kind will be ingrained in your employee’s minds after one exposure. For sustainable behavior change the information must be woven into conversations across the organization on a continuous basis. 
3. Get into the habit of reflecting on the different personality styles of your team as a group. How do they solve problems?  What motivates them?  How do they respond to conflict? 

At Brilliant People, we are constantly striving to bring fresh solutions to the complexities of human interaction. Call us for a quick chat. We’d love to help you navigate your way to sustained organizational health.

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Your Personality at Work

To build a cohesive collaborative team takes time and effort. As managers, we have to know that just assigning a group of people a common project and calling them a ‘team’ in no way ensures that they will function as one. Teaming well requires soft skills like communication, problem solving and leadership as well as emotional intelligence. Those aren’t always skills we’re born with but they can definitely be learned. 

The learning process is easy. It’s being fully committed to the process and ultimate outcomes that is most important. We’ve narrowed it down to 5 steps for a cohesive, collaborative team. Follow these steps and you’ll be well on your way to creating team dynamics that work, allowing more success in individual teams that ladder up to the overall organizational wins!

#1 Get To Know Your Teammates

This sounds so simple, almost yawn-inducing simple. But honestly, what are you doing to actually get to know the people you’re working with? 

We’ve all got a lot on our plates but maybe all that’s needed for starters is taking the time to do a bit more than just saying hello. Ask how they’re doing and actually wait to hear their response. Pay attention to whether they’ve got photos of kids on their desk and ask their names, or what they’re into. Maybe instead, they’ve got photos of a four legged friend. Chat them up about it. Animals are a great way to connect because people LOVE talking about their pets! 

Do some covert question-asking to see what their favorite coffee drink is and then surprise them with one. Finding out if someone on your team is a coffee catch up or happy hour kind of person can be super helpful and make for great opportunities to get to know them better outside the office. Sometimes, even if you’re not in the mood for a chat, asking a simple question and just listening is all someone else needs to feel that sense of belonging. It really does go a long way.

#2 Build Trust Through Your Actions

When people hear phrases like “trust building” in the context of work, visions of ‘trust falls’ pop into their heads and that doesn’t always leave a great impression. They think: No way! That is such a waste of time and I’ve got too much on my plate!” Well, we’re right there with you on the trust fall, but we know that building a foundation of trust is the #1 most important thing companies can do. 

Historically, it’s been really challenging to quantify the benefits of having better trust in the workplace. We all know we need to trust our colleagues and company leaders, but it’s been hard to quantify and connect the dots between what that does to things like earnings, profit and financial KPIs. But, we have to remember: the question isn’t if a company will deal with a trust issue, it’s when. So, thankfully, Accenture completed a study a few years back and the findings were incredible. The research determined a connection between things like trust and EBITDA. And guess what they found?? 

WHEN TRUST DROPS BY 2 PTS, EBITDA IS COMPROMISED AND DECREASES BY 9.8%

What does this mean for your company? It means your revenue is at risk if you don’t have a solid foundation of trust throughout your organization. The impact of trust on a company’s bottom line is a big deal and one every company should be thinking about. 

As we’ve said before, vulnerability based trust is the key. Be authentic. Understand who you are in the mix so you can better understand who others are. It’s a simple process, you just have to be dedicated to the outcome. And, understanding how a lack of trust affects the company’s bottom line may give some incentive.

#3 Be Accountable

When there is clear communication, accountability comes more easily. And, I’m not talking about top to bottom accountability. I’m talking about peer to peer. If you’ve got a clear line of communication, and everyone is on the same page about expectations, then you have a road map for how to show up, the work that you do, and the outcomes the team is seeking. Which means, being accountable is three fold: 

• we need to be accountable to ourselves 
• we need to be accountable to the commitments we make to others 
• we need to hold others accountable as well

When we talk about holding ourselves accountable, that can start with something as simple as: do what you say you’re going to do, whether it’s showing up on time or turning something in when you say you will. Those types of actions go a long way in communicating how you really feel about the team and your responsibility to it. It also gives your teammates an idea of what you think about them. I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but the person who is constantly late is basically saying they don’t respect the other person’s time. Being confronted in the moment with “I don’t feel like you respect my time when you show up late to meetings” may feel super aggressive. And, your first thought may take you back to 3rd grade when you told someone “you’re not the boss of me!” However, I’d venture to guess that a little self reflection would tell you: they’re right! Whatever the reason for being late, it was obviously more important than showing up on time. 

On the flip side, if holding a teammate accountable falls on you, my guess is that you’re likely thinking “Why do I have to be the one to show them where they’re going wrong…? This is NOT my responsibility!” Well, if this is you, you may need a reframe. Part of having healthy team dynamics is being able to hold each other up, which involves a willingness to out the situation when a teammate isn’t holding up their end of the bargain. If they’ve committed to some action or some type of behavior, but they aren’t following through, that’s an open invitation for a heart to heart. As hard as it is to be the one to instigate it, and possibly harder to be the one who receives the feedback – this is exactly what organizations need in order to create truly cohesive, collaborative teams. 

#4 Focus On Team Results, Not Personal Results

We’ve all got our daily tasks and weekly goals that we have to keep front and center for the overall success of the organization, but it’s a real problem when you’ve got a lone wolf in the mix who is only out for #1! If you’re in this situation, take the time to discuss what “team commitment” actually looks like. Ultimately, it comes down to decisions and actions that serve the greater good of the organization. 

If you are the lone wolf constantly shutting others out, not allowing collaboration or input of any kind to muddy the waters of your solitary strategy you are creating derision and division in the team. This will never be in the playbook for creating cohesive, collaborative teams. Instead, remember that old adage: There is no ‘i’ in team. It still holds true. Allowing others to be part of your process improves the final outcome on so many levels. The workload is spread out, amazing ideas are generated by bringing other voices into the mix and the end result is so much more fulfilling.

#5 Show Appreciation 

When we let others know how much we value their help it really goes a long way. More than 35% of employees consider lack of recognition of their work as the biggest hindrance to their productivity according to a recent poll by Tjinsite, a division of TimeJobs.com. So you can see, everyone needs to feel appreciated, but we are each moved differently when it comes to how it’s shown. Picture this scene: One of your teammates has been responsible for pulling together a really important client event for the company. Time and again this person comes through, working overtime, putting their heart and soul into the outcome, but when you pull them into a large group gathering to present them with a thank you card and a round of applause, they look like they might throw up. And, you’re left wondering what went wrong… 

We are all wired differently. For some of us, we want a standing ovation every time we have a win (big or small). And, then others of us are mortified at the thought of being publicly recognized. Some may just want a pat on the back and a thumbs up, and it’ll carry them through until the next win which takes us back to #1! If we get to know our people, we know what they want and what they need. A little creative investigation goes a long way and then allows you to show how much they mean to the overall team dynamics in the way they need.

Conclusion:

We know it takes time and dedication to build cohesive, collaborative teams. As managers, we have to ensure that every person on the team is dedicated to the process of taking their communication, problem solving and leadership skills to the next level, while also throwing a little EQ into the mix. When you take these five steps and consistently implement them into your team processes the results are amazing. You can’t help but have cohesive, collaborative teams as a result. 

If you need help creating cohesion on your teams, call us. We’ve got a brilliant plan for guiding teams through the right steps to keep them on their path to success!

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Your Personality at Work

There are five steps to productive conflict. Wait, productive conflict? I know it’s hard to imagine because most people when they hear the word ‘conflict’ think of fighting, yelling, and arguing. What they’re referring to and what you’re probably thinking about right now, is destructive conflict. The negative kind of conflict that leaves hurt feelings, usually ends in stalemate, and over time can lead to a loss of productivity, effectiveness and engagement at work. This type of conflict wastes time and energy, and damages relationships. Productive conflict, on the other hand, is a healthy version of conflict that focuses on finding solutions in a respectful manner. One way to reach productive conflict is to utilize the 5 Steps to Resolution by Orrin Woodward. 

Step 1: Affirm the Relationship 

When you’re in conflict with someone, you’re usually not happy with the other person. So Step 1 encourages you to remember why you have a relationship with this person in the first place. Then take the time to tell the other person how much you value them. For example, “We work closely together on a lot of projects and I value our relationship.  So I am ok hashing this out with you so that we can get to a better place.”

Step 2: Seek to Understand 

This step actually pays homage to Stephen Covey’s  The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Everyone wants to be heard and valued. This is just inherent to the human psyche. So this step makes us stop and listen. Instead of talking over each other trying to make sure that our viewpoint is the last one to be heard, we need to take the time to listen to what the other person is feeling. What do they want? What is important to them? The idea is to listen intently and repeat back to them what you heard. For example, “Let me see if I understand what you are saying. You feel…. Or You want….”

Step 3: Seek to Be Understood 

Once you’ve listened to why the other person feels the way they do, you’ve put what you heard into words, and they’ve agreed that you got it right, it’s your turn to share. This isn’t the time to let yourself get riled up. In fact, it’s really important that you keep your emotions in check or you’ll negate any progress you may have made in step two. So calmly and respectfully share your point of view on the issue at hand. When you’re finished ask the other person to please recap what you’ve shared with them to make sure they heard what you intended for them to hear.

Step 4: Own Responsibility By Apologizing 

This may be the hardest step for many of you, but it’s crucial to productive conflict and reaching a resolution. When you’re in conflict with someone, you may not be aware of the damage it has caused to your relationship. So own as much of the conflict as possible while still being truthful. For example, “I’m sorry that I dismissed your idea and talked over you in the meeting.” Even if you absolutely feel that you did nothing wrong, you can own the fact that you did not understand where the other person was coming from, and that you’d like get a better understanding now. 

Step 5: Seek Agreement 

Now it’s time to find a way forward out of the conflict. Have a discussion about what you would each like to see happen by repeating Steps 2 & 3. Wherever you find mutual agreement is a logical first step. However, also realize that compromise is key here. You don’t have to be in complete agreement in order to resolve the conflict. You just have to make some progress in the situation. In fact, if your conflict involves more than one issue or has evolved over a long period of time, you may have to start small. Choose one thing to commit to and then keep the commitment. This will build trust and decrease the likelihood of future conflicts over the same issue.  

To Wrap It Up

Conflict is inevitable in the workplace when have a lot of different personality types from different backgrounds, and who have different priorities, motivations, stressors and emotional needs. However,  it doesn’t have to be destructive. Conflict when done correctly is actually the gateway to the truth: better and brighter innovation as well as improved team dynamics. To get there utilize the 5 Steps to Resolution to engage in productive conflict. Oh and one last thing! Do the steps in person if at all possible. There’s just too much lost in written communication.

To improve your team’s ability to embrace productive conflict, call us. The Culture (R)evolution Starts With You! 

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