“Thaw with his gentle persuasion is more powerful than Thor with his hammer. The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.”

– Henry D. Thoreau  

The art of persuasion is an important skill in a manager’s tool kit.  A successful manager doesn’t just direct and delegate. It’s not like writing a sequence of code and then letting the computer do the rest. Managers must also be able to make suggestions to others in a manner that ensures they are heard, and they need to be able to rally the team around goals and objectives. To do so, they must first connect with each team member on a basic level by taking into consideration their individual needs.  

This isn’t about “The Golden Rule” because treating others as you would want to be treated will only take you so far. Therefore, a better approach is understanding the needs of the person you’re engaging with and then working to connect with them based on that information. We’re all wired differently, so when a manager focuses on what resonates for each team member, they have the power to strengthen those relationships. And stronger relationships lead to higher engagement, productivity and a sense of belonging. 

What Gets in the Way 

The problem is that typically, humans approach a given situation with only their own needs in mind, which can shut down communication before it has even begun. For example, when in a crisis, heated argument or stressful situation, emotions often take over. Rational thought and logic flee the scene and what is left is a first instinct that is often wrong. Take this scenario, for example: Imagine a coworker who is hard charging, going 90-to-nothing most of the time vs one who is slow to respond because they take ample time to process before they respond.  One is a “ready, fire, aim” type, while the other might be more like “ready aim, aim, aim.”  

Without proper understanding of each other’s personality type, team members will have a hard time working cohesively, and possibly even be offended by each other’s behaviors. But when we take the time to understand what inspires others or what shuts them down, we can use the art of persuasion to influence our work relationships for the better and meet management goals. All it takes is a few minor tweaks in a manager’s approach to the different personality types.  

Persuasion Techniques 

The ‘D’ type personality is motivated by competition and achievement. They often take charge because they may be questioning whether the other teammates want to win as much as they do. This competitive nature and desire to be out front often makes them look like natural born leaders. And, because others tend to look to them to lead, having a ‘D’ type personality on your side might be to your team’s benefit. When needing to use persuasion, remember to focus on their needs. The ‘D’ personality needs to know what’s in it for them.  Share any benefits that will affect them personally. They won’t want a lot of detail, just the over-arching picture, and if they need more, they’ll ask.  

The ‘I’ type personality is very people oriented (vs task oriented) and are naturally gifted in influencing and persuasion. Teammates are often drawn to their enthusiasm and optimism, so a manager should look to get the ‘i’ type on board. They can be instrumental in helping the rest of the team get excited or at least willing to tackle the next project, goal, or other things coming down the line. To encourage them to get on your side, you’ll need to first meet them where they are. The ‘i’ type needs to verbally process and they are emotionally expressive. So, take the time to hear how and what they’re doing before trying to persuade them to your ideas. Let them feel your approval and appreciation and don’t give them too many details as it might be a bit too much to take in. They’ll fill in the gaps where needed with their own creativity so be willing to allow some of that. 

The ‘S’ type personality is a great collaborator so persuading them to be a part of the team won’t be difficult. They naturally want to support others. But if you’re asking them to change how they do things, you’ll need to tread carefully. The ‘S’ type feels threatened by change. They may nod their heads and smile in the face of confrontation, and then refuse to change their tactics when you aren’t looking. They aren’t intentionally trying to sabotage your plans, but this is a key reminder of why it’s super important to use the art of persuasion to help the ‘S’ type feel more comfortable. This means that if possible, use the BYAF technique that tells them they have a choice. According to a 2013 review of 43 research studies and 22,000 participants, using the ‘but you are free’ (BYAF) technique doubles the chances that someone will say ‘yes’ to a request. The psychology of allowing the other person to make a decision on the subject you’re discussing makes them more likely to agree with you. 

The ‘C’ type personality looks at the world through the lens of logic and analysis. They want as much data as possible before they make decisions because they want to be as accurate as possible. They are extremely valuable on a team because of this but they often don’t really like to ‘team’. They just want to be left alone so they can complete their work in silence and control the outcome. If a manager wants to win them over or encourage them to take the lead on a project, they need to come to the table with data. The more the better. This might come in the form of recent survey statistics, research studies, or logistics. Anything that shows what you’re asking them to do is valuable and valid. And then be prepared to answer all their questions. This isn’t because they don’t trust your plan, they just want to clarify exactly what you mean and what you want from them.  

Trust on a Team  

“Progress happens at the speed of trust.”

– Stephen M. R. Covey 

When managers take the time to get to know the different personality types on their team, the act of persuasion will be much easier and responded to more positively. In addition, managers that endeavor to communicate with their teams in this personalized manner will build relationships founded on trust and respect. And trust is the cohesive team’s superpower. Teams with high trust communicate and collaborate more effectively than those without trust.  

Sadly, some still view the idea of ‘trust’ as a poor alternative to productivity. The truth however has been revealed by Accenture, who’s research shows that when trust drops by a mere 2 points, EBITDA is compromised and decreases by 9.8% (global average)!! Therefore, trust or the lack thereof can seriously impact the bottom line, and this is crucial for managers to understand. Without trust, it’s difficult to progress no matter how skilled a manager is in persuasion. 

Setting managers up for success is what we do at Brilliant People. Call us today for more information.  

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Your Personality at Work

Faulty perception shows up in almost every conversation or scenario at work and can wreak havoc on our relationships with coworkers.  Maybe you’ve experienced one of the following situations:  

• Approaching a coworker (your boss, a peer, or even the front desk admin, who’s usually the most upbeat person in the office. But for whatever reason, they don’t respond to you as you were expecting) 
• You ask for advice or pose what you consider to be an urgent question, and your coworker doesn’t seem to care 

• There’s a deadline, and you feel you need extra support, but your manager can’t be bothered 

Now let’s flip it around. Have you ever been stressed, sad or angry at work and  

• Responded abruptly to a coworker?  
• Ignored or avoided a colleague because you didn’t have time for them?  

• Agreed to something to avoid conflict but then didn’t carry through? 

These are all common scenarios at work where misperceptions occur because, as humans, we often don’t realize how the people around us perceive our actions. Unfortunately, how we think we show up for others is not typically how they experience us. For instance, in one of the earlier examples, you need support from your manager, but you ‘perceive’ that he/she doesn’t care, solely based on their response to the situation. You are offended, but your manager is clueless. Your manager has no idea that his/her response (or lack thereof) has caused you to alter reality and start making stuff up in your head. You tell yourself things like: they just don’t care – they’re mean – they’re only out for themselves!

Are We Speaking The Same Language? 

Although perceptions like these are often incorrect, it’s what we do when we are not speaking the same language of as our coworkers.  I don’t mean languages like English, Spanish or French. I’m talking about the language of personality. Because when we don’t understand why our coworkers show up the way they do, we cannot effectively communicate with them. To communicate effectively we need to understand their emotional needs. And, yeah, I know – talking about emotions is not necessarily encouraged at work. But we aren’t talking about being touchy-feely. The research shows that we show up in the world and respond to our environments based on our emotional needs.  

Understanding the four major DiSC types can give you insight into the emotional needs of each person in your organization. For example, the Dominant personality type has a need for control and accomplishment, whereas the Influencer’s needs are all about appreciation and acceptance. The Steady needs to feel valued and listened to, whereas the Conscientious has the need to be correct and prefers to work alone. If we aren’t aware of these needs for ourselves and our coworkers, communication is difficult with misperceptions happening constantly.  

Stories Can Be Dangerous 

When a misperception occurs, our brain moves into storytelling mode. This is because we’re neurologically wired to make something up when we’re confused about how a conversation or event played out or how someone responded to us, especially if there were negative undertones. Our brain needs for the situation to make sense. It’s a safety thing. And, the brain is so incredible that it will reward us (through a dopamine hit, as an example) when we create a story around a situation that makes sense. And that is whether the story is true or not!  

Once we’ve made up a story, a new narrative based on that story affects how we respond the next time we interact with the same person. It can even influence how we treat the next person we see or talk to. Ever snapped at someone about something, only to realize later that it wasn’t them you were frustrated with? It was the person you spoke to BEFORE them. They just happened to get caught in the line of fire. So, misperceptions allow us to create some impressive storylines, but most of the time, they just aren’t true. And they can be seriously detrimental to our work relationships. 

Stories With A Happy Ending

If we want to improve our experience at work, though, we need to be willing to get curious when we feel our emotions being hijacked. When we notice our discomfort or confusion because of a coworker’s response to us, it’s an opportunity to dig in a little before we go down the path of some made-up story. Because the reality is there are always two sides to a story.  

This isn’t about making excuses for their behavior. Instead, it’s about trying to understand why they responded the way they did and why you reacted the way you did. Take some time to reflect and consider how you can show up in a way that meets both of your needs. This may require a conversation and some studying up on the DiSC personality types. Not only will this lead to improved communication, but it will also create connection.

When you show you care enough to get to know someone else’s emotional needs, you begin to create a bond of trust. Since trust is the basis of any good relationship, it’s a worthy spend of your time and energy. And the next time your brain goes into storytelling mode, you’ll be able to realistically create a happy ending.  

If you’d like to improve the storytelling in your work environment, give us a call. We provide DiSC assessments and training on the Diversity of Personalities. 

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Your Personality at Work

Decades ago the words compassion and empathy were not woven into our daily language as they are today. A person that cried or angered was often judged as being too emotional and in less words, weak. Whereas a show of control over our feelings and not letting them interfere with ‘life’ was a show of strength. Or being nosy and asking someone what was going on or ‘are you ok?’ was considered inconsiderate. 

Today it is that act of internalizing or hiding our emotions in support of others that has created this current explosion of critical awareness of our shared human emotions. 

The other arena that was void of empathy and compassion those years ago is the workplace.  People were encouraged to leave their personal life at home. This caused stuffing and compartmentalizing of our feelings, whether they were in support of another or our own emotional burdens. Emotions were considered ‘private’ and opening the emotional ‘can of worms’ was somewhat feared by everyone. 

However, what we have seen and experienced over the past few years is a complete about face.  The pandemic helped to usher in the mental health revolution and many companies are now actively investing in emotional and compassion tools to help relieve the stress and pressures their workforce is facing.  But really, it sometimes feels like empathy and compassion have been placed around like accent pillows. You know they are there, but they’re not really being used. 

So how do we flex and stretch our empathetic and compassion muscles? 

Walking a mile in another person’s footsteps is a direct action to gaining some understanding of what another person is or has gone through. But as we walk in another’s shoes we also have our own experiences that dance in the overview.  We compare our experience to theirs. This isn’t fair, and it keeps us from truly understanding what the other person has navigated in their lives. 

Empathy is experiencing and knowing what someone else is enduring. But can we truly know? We can feel the emotions of what that experience is like, and understand it from our own point of view. But this often leaves us feeling like we have run the race with them. Then we need to retreat to recoup our own energy while they refill their own emotional gas tank. We were there for them in their moment of need but we suffered as well.  

This type of empathy is still missing the point of what it truly means to be there for someone. We end up processing our own feelings while bearing the ‘weight of another’s world’. This can leave us exhausted, emotionally tapped and a bit guarded the next time we are in a position to support someone.

Enter into the room a different type of empathy: compassion. Compassion is one of 3 types of empathy, and is a healthier way to relate to other people’s feelings. 

Imagine this: A colleague comes to you and starts to talk about what is troubling them. You hear what they are saying and start to feel emotional. Your emotions start to rise and might find yourself saying, “I know! Or, “I can’t believe that!” Then you realize that you have been emotionally hijacked and you vow to keep your distance (mentally and most likely physically!). You don’t want that to happen again. This is you experiencing emotional empathy.  

What can you do moving forward?

Learn to empathize compassionately. Go back and imagine the earlier work scenario where your colleague shares their frustrations with you. Instead of getting caught up in their emotions, you nod in affirmation of their feelings. You understand what they are saying and feeling, and you want to help them, to ease their stress/suffering. But this time, you simply say “I can see how this would be stressful. What would help?” Their answer may surprise you and it could be that they just needed someone to listen. 

In showing that you care, you are stating that they are important and you value them. To avoid them would be to invalidate their feelings. Even if your intentions are good, giving advice signals that they are broken in some way and need to be fixed. However, asking questions and allowing your colleague to dip into their own wisdom allows you to support them rather than trying to fix them. Hot tip: everyone has their own pace, so be aware of your desire to press on the gas or hit the brakes. You are there to be the navigator, not the driver.

Flex Your Compassion Muscles

As humans, we need to connect to others. It’s why we choose to live and work in communities. So to think we can protect our own emotional health by avoiding others isn’t truly realistic. Unless you have moved to the lightly inhabited nether regions and are a practicing recluse. However, since most people are not, it would better to learn how to emotionally support those around you. And the the good news? You can learn to empathize with compassion.

Learning to be more compassionate begins with ourselves (there is a recurring them here!)  We can best learn compassion by noticing how we feel, how we react, and how hard we can be on ourselves. Being mindful of our own emotions allows us to make changes that are more positive and impactful. Shifting our inner dialogue to become supportive and compassionate instead of destructive and critical. This is self-compassion and when practiced will support our ability to extend compassion authentically to others. 

To bring this back full circle, how can you support your colleagues through compassion? Truly listen and ask questions.  If you offer your time and attention, give it to them free of judgment or criticism.  Maybe if they can work through it out loud with a caring person, they will come to some conclusions on their own. At the very least they will feel heard and valued. That is what compassion is all about.

Empathy and compassion are emotional intelligence skills that are necessary to succeed at work. If your workplace is in need of professional development training, call us today and share your story. We will listen compassionately and help you find a solution. The Culture (R)evolution Starts With You!

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Your Personality at Work

The managers are not all right. Why? Because they’re trying to ‘manage’ through the effects of the fourth industrial revolution, a worldwide pandemic, and the Great Resignation with the management styles of a bygone era. And a recent survey by SHRM (Society for Human Resource Management) shows how damaging these poor management practices are.  

• 84% of American workers say poorly trained people managers create a lot of unnecessary work and stress  
• 57% of American workers say managers in their workplace could benefit from training on how to be a better people manager
• 35% of those surveyed said that managers need to know how to cultivate a positive and inclusive team culture

Because the manager accounts for so much of an employee’s work experience, it’s really imperative that organizations help managers improve their people skills. They need to provide development in the mindset and methods that will empower managers to lead better. In particular, managers need to build listening and empathy skills, and help their employees feel like they belong. 

Managers Need to Listen

In most organizations, the biggest emphasis at work is placed on output. What’s missing is the connection and community that makes people want to engage in their work. This is crucial because the better our working relationships, the more we actually produce.  Essential to building good working relationships is the art of listening. 

“We have 2 ears and 1 mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” Epictitus

I say that it is an art form because it’s not a skill that comes naturally to most people. Usually when we are in conversation with another person, we listen with the intent to respond; to share our side of an issue, tell a similar story that we’ve experienced, or completely change the subject. To really listen requires focus, patience and a desire to truly understand what is being said. It focuses solely on the speaker. One such method is ‘Active Listening’. While the speaker talks, the listener pays close attention to the explicit and underlying details, using only non-verbal cues to show that they are listening. This could be as simple as nodding your head. It’s important not to interrupt and stop the flow the information. Only once the speaker finishes, should the listener summarize the key points of what they heard and then ask for confirmation. Then the speaker can clarify any misunderstandings. Active listening is an excellent way for a manager to gain information and perspective, and to show an employee that what they have to say matters. 

Managers Must Show Empathy

The second skill managers should develop is empathy. This is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. The idea of having and sharing feelings at work often makes people uncomfortable, though, making this a major roadblock to effective management. To begin to engage in empathetic leadership, managers need to let their employees know that they are there for them. Employees should be encouraged to openly and regularly ask questions, take appropriate risks, and discuss obstacles with management. And sharing personal struggles should be encouraged as well. Empathy is a cornerstone of relationship building because it serves to improve communication and collaboration. A truly cohesive team has no fear around these types of behaviors.

Managers Have to Create a Sense of Belonging

The third thing managers should focus on at work is creating a sense of belonging. Employees today want to feel safe and wanted at work. And when they don’t, they look for jobs elsewhere. This is happening in almost every industry and is especially relevant to remote workers. However, managers can help reduce the effects of the ‘great resignation’ by working to help employees feel like they belong. In fact, BetterUp research shows that fostering belonging can lead to a 50% lower risk of turnover. Plus, employees who feel they belong take 75% fewer sick days, which means they’re more productive at work. To begin to build a sense of belonging managers must first embrace the idea of diversity and inclusion and make sure their teams reflect this. Then they need to make sure people feel welcome. This is especially important for new hires who won’t be familiar with the company culture, and remote workers who don’t have the same opportunities to get to know their teammates. Helping each team member understand their role and how it fits into the bigger picture and overall corporate vision/mission is another excellent way to help people feel like they belong. 

The Ripple Effect

In today’s workplace, managing effectively means working alongside the team to make sure they have what they need when they need it. The ability to listen well, show empathy and help employees feel like they belong can create a great team culture. And these behaviors will create a ripple effect. When a manager shows they care, employees feel freer to show that they care to their fellow workmates. When other teams see the camaraderie and productivity happening they will want to figure out how to bring those experiences to their team. The more managers listen, empathize and help others feel like they belong, the more successful they will be. 

The skills mentioned in this article are related to emotional intelligence. Unlike IQ, EQ can definitely be improved over time. To get started, reach out to us about our Agile EQ program.

The Culture (R)evolution Starts With You!

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Your Personality at Work

Employee mental health has been all over the news lately because as a society we are still struggling to adapt to the loss, change, and prolonged instability caused by the pandemic. In response, organizations across the nation are working to ensure that employees have the resources they need. In fact, 73% of employers are increasing their behavioral health investment in 2021. This is welcome news, but at Brilliant People, we believe it’s just as important to treat each other with care. We all have emotional needs that don’t go into hibernation just because we’re at work, which means it’s important to understand you and your coworkers’ emotional needs. Looking into their DiSC personality style is a great place to start.

Emotional Needs of The Dominant

The Dominant or ‘D’ style is known for their competitive nature, focus on results, and take-charge attitude. I mean, these people take charge even when they aren’t in charge! Control is important when you’re afraid of being taken advantage of. This is why the D type thrives on competition and needs to be first and/or the best. It can create problems when they step on or over those around them in their efforts to win. Their blunt, ‘do-it-my-way-or-the-highway’ attitude can also ruffle some feathers. 

They can come across so confidently that it’s sometimes surprising to many that realize that they have emotional needs just like everyone else. In fact, their willingness to take charge is actually a clever way of camouflaging their need for control. 

To meet the emotional needs of the ‘D’ style make sure they know you appreciate their go-get-it attitude, and their laser focus. Allow them to take the reins when possible, but also help them to develop their people skills. That way they’ll have the necessary finesse to collaborate well when needed.

The Influencer

The Influence or ’ style is cheerful, optimistic, and very social. They also tend to be amazing idea generators. These people spend their time checking in on other coworkers, organizing birthday celebrations, the weekly happy hour and the holiday food drive. Their desire to be liked and accepted is what drives their behavior. I would venture to say that all people desire to be liked and accepted but for the ‘i’ type, this is a true emotional need because they fear being rejected and ignored. And when these needs aren’t met, you may notice that their cheerfulness, optimism, and activity go into hyperdrive. This isn’t melodramatic behavior. It’s a cry for help. 

So, take the time to let the ‘i’ type on your team or in your department know that you appreciate them. Give kudos for their ability to continually innovate, and appreciation for their non-stop optimism. Interact often to let them know you care.

Emotional Needs of The Steady

The Steady or ’S’ style is the laid-back member of the team. They strive to provide a supportive atmosphere for everyone, making them great collaborators and mediators. They crave stability, peace, and appreciation. This means they don’t like change or conflict. Many Steady types find it hard to voice their opinions, especially if other more vocal members tend to talk over or ignore them. If conflict is constant, this can become a vicious cycle of silence and resentment for the ‘S’ type. And in regard to change, you can help to combat their fears by having a private conversation when change is coming. Giving a heads up early will allow the ’S’ style time to come to grips with the change. As a result, they’ll be less likely to dig their heels in and resist. Then they can use their calming demeanor to help ease the transition for others. 

And lastly, if team members spend too much time pushing their own agenda, they’ll miss out on the fact that the Steady needs to know that people sincerely appreciate their contributions to the team. This could be verbal or in writing. The main thing is to make sure you state specifically what it is that you appreciate them for.  

The Conscientious Style

The Conscientious or ‘C’ style is typically the most logical and analytical person on the team. They approach work and work relationships with a straightforward and unemotional demeanor, purposefully steering clear of high drama or emotion. Instead, they prefer to work alone researching and making sure there are no mistakes or inconsistencies. The emotional need for being correct or even perfect drives the C type and causes them to be sidelined by ‘analysis paralysis’. And in some cases, if the work others are doing doesn’t meet their standards, they may just decide to do it all themselves. What most people don’t realize, however, is that their emotional need for perfection comes from a fear of being wrong or having to settle for less. 

Therefore, to improve relationships with the C type, give them as much independence as possible and keep the office politics/drama to a minimum.  But do encourage the ‘C’ type to actively be a part of the team by communicating often, preferably in person. This will go a long way in helping them feel a part of the team. 

The Importance of Meeting the Emotional Needs of Our Teammates

There is no star personality type. They each have strengths particular to their type. And where they lack strength opens a door of opportunity for another type to fill their gap. But we won’t see this happen in the workplace unless we get to know our coworkers and take the necessary steps to help them feel like a valuable asset. One important way of doing this is to meet their emotional needs. In fact, employees who feel heard and understood are 4.6x more likely to do their best work, and they’re more fun to be around.  When we don’t show the care others deserve, people can quickly devolve into their worst selves. Behaviors like barking directives, steamrolling over others, ignoring teammates and conflict, missing details or deadlines, and retreating to our own silos become commonplace. Over time, these behaviors destroy company culture. 

However, placing an emphasis on meeting each other’s emotional needs will build rapport and trust. And since trust is the foundation of all cohesive teams, it’s a great place to start. In today’s mental health climate, it’s important to get this right. 

Need help identifying the emotional needs of your teammates? Call us today. We offer DiSC assessments combined with personality training to give you the insight you need.

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At Brilliant People, we believe in creating awesome company culture through connection and community in the workplace. It really is the most important thing when you consider that PEOPLE make up a company. Whether an owner, manager, or worker bee – each of us has the power to create an environment that nurtures and sustains people within the organization. Culture can come from amazing programs put into place by HR, or an occasional check-in focused on HOW people are doing, rather than WHAT they’re doing. It can also be a simple smile from one employee to another, passing in the hall, or across the zoom screen. All of these things boost our mental health and create space for more productivity, as well as improving the company’s bottom line. 

Improving Culture Improves Mental Health 

Research has shown that safe and open communication in an organization is vital to employee engagement and well-being. Supervisors who are communicative are more likely to create a feeling of connection with their direct reports. This level of comfort inspires a willingness to divulge symptoms of stress around work or the work environment. When employees are transparent about their needs, they’re less stressed and managers can actually help them through the situation. And, managers who truly support their people motivate them to do their best even when things aren’t perfect. It’s a win-win across the board. 

As mentioned in our guest blog post Building Resilience Amidst Uncertainty (Part 2), by Cait Ross, “One of the most basic needs of our brain is attachment & belonging. As humans, we are neurobiologically hardwired for human connection… When we feel authentically connected to the people we work with, our brains and bodies feel safe.”  

How Good Company Culture Improves the Virtual Workplace

Ever heard the phrases: “culture on the walls” vs “culture in the halls?” An article by LaMarsh Global highlights the difference between these two. “Culture on the walls” has to do with the “official definition of the organization’s culture.” “Culture in the halls” refers to the “true culture that employees experience and contribute to.” I’m sure we’ve all felt the difference between these two types of culture in the workplace. I really appreciate the article’s transparency around what we all know to be true. In some organizations, although they may say company culture is amazing, the reality is very different. Norms created inside organizations either align with the values and mission of the company or don’t. When they don’t, problems arise. This can happen under normal circumstances, much less the uncertain world we’re currently living in due to the pandemic.

With that in mind, the first step is to audit your corporate culture to make sure it aligns with who the company says it is. Next, consider questions like: What are the management styles? How is employee engagement? What is the reaction to change? These are important whether you’re physically in the office or not. Connection in the workplace is often driven by managers and/or HR, but it’s also important for the individual employee to be proactive. At Brilliant People, our motto is “say no to status quo.” This means being disruptive in a positive way by creating solutions around the problem you see. It means asking yourself if you’re going to be a part of the problem or a part of the solution? It’s your choice, but wouldn’t it be amazing if something you said or did helped create more cohesive and collaborative teams at work? 

The Bottom Line

The Hay Group, a global management consulting firm, recently reported that engaged workers are 43 percent more productive. Employees who feel connected to people they work with are more inclined to bring their best self to work every day. Even if they’re just walking from their bedroom to the kitchen table. They’re encouraged and inspired. Companies then reap the benefits of less turnover, fewer mistakes, an increase in productivity, and improvements in overall customer satisfaction. All good reasons for each employee to want to go all-in on awesome company culture.

Leading The Charge

Investing in your company culture is the most important thing you can do. At the heart of overused phrases like “employee engagement” and “leadership training” is the basic understanding that immense value comes from creating a connected, compassionate internal culture. Understanding the drivers of culture can help improve overall employee performance. This is especially important now while we all work to solidify this new normal. For some companies, the virtual landscape is here to stay. This means that companies have to clarify what they want their culture to be and then bring it to life through employee experience. Ultimately, the goal is to create a strong culture, whether you’re virtual or in-person. Our leadership development training focuses on personality, trust, conflict, and team building – all things that lead to great company culture. Give us a call today to get started!

The Culture (R)evolution Starts With You.

This post was originally published on December 4, 2020.

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5th installment of a 5 part series:

YOUR PERSONALITY TYPE AND STRESS RESPONSE  

Read Part 4!

Meet Brilliant Billy

As a Conscientious personality type, Billy’s real strength as a workmate is his aim for perfection. When he does something, he does it right. He’s deep and thoughtful, serious and purposeful and even (at times) prone to genius. Billy’s talents also lie in his creative abilities, which means he’s great to have in a brainstorming session. He can also be self-sacrificing and sensitive to others. He takes other’s feelings into consideration even when they’re not around to speak for themselves. 

Morphing into Back Down Billy

On a typical day, Billy needs a good balance of space and silence to be his best at work and at home. Unfortunately, he’s still having to work remotely which isn’t conducive to supporting these needs. Working from home has been really challenging for him. And, although for the most part, he’s settled into a routine, he’s finding it difficult to connect with his team and manager. 

To top it off, when Billy needs support, he isn’t likely to ask for it. Instead, he prefers to  go it alone, so he can control the outcome. The problem with this is it takes teamwork to make the dream work. And because Billy is primarily working from home, it’s hard for those he works with to recognize the signs that he may need some support. 

Billy’s New Normal

Though Billy has pretty much adapted to his new normal the pandemic is still an ever present threat.  And, splitting his time between working from home and going into the office isn’t helping, especially with his penchant for perfection. The ambiguity around what that’s actually going to look like is making his anxiety worse and he feels like his head might explode. His need for perfection is not achievable, and Billy feels himself begin to descend into total chaos. 

With this much stress building up, his awesome attributes are about to take a leap right out the window. Under stress and emotional duress, he becomes an altogether different person, shutting down and going into avoidance mode. This way of dealing (or NOT dealing) with stress doesn’t help Billy at home or at work.

It’s Time to Give Billy Some Attention

Billy’s normal M.O. is an aim for perfection but this situation is far from perfect.

So what’s a guy to do?

If you are feeling a kinship with Billy, try these tips on for size:

1. Adjust those perfectionist expectations. Recognize and verbalize that things aren’t “business as usual” right now and focus on what you can control and affect. That includes keeping those emotions in check and being aware of how you’re showing up for your coworkers. This will even come in handy for those loved ones you’re currently sharing your living/workspace with. 
2. Give more praise and less criticism because, come on, there is enough of that in the world right now. Instead, channel your inner empathy. This will demonstrate how much you value others. And it will build up others, creating general feelings of positivity and wellbeing. 

If you live or work with a “Billy”, support his need for control and structure amidst the chaos. The simple act of respecting his time can go a long way in bringing his brilliant side to the surface. Preface a conversation with “Is now a good time to talk?” and in this way, help him prepare for a purposeful, productive and positive discussion. You can also offer to help when you see that he’s overwhelmed. He may not take you up on it but the fact that you offered, will go a long way with him.

Moving Forward as a Billy or With a Billy

As you’ve discovered throughout this series, personality plays a big part in how we show up in the world. And it directly relates to the behavior we exhibit when stress and pressure are just too much. If we were Tom Hanks living on an isolated island with only Wilson to talk to, this wouldn’t be a problem. But that’s not how we live and operate. When our personality bumps up against someone else’s in a not-so-friendly or unhealthy manner, there will be negative consequences for both parties. And this type of thing could happen several times during a typical day even under the best of circumstances. 

Being confined to your home with your family, figuring out how to work remotely, and not knowing what the future will look like, makes for some major stress. Our human need for immediate release may cause us to act out by barking orders, yelling, giving in or avoiding. Or we may find ourselves on the receiving end of one or more of those responses. 

We all know that sometimes maintaining your own brilliant self is easier said than done. And this has never been more true than now. The world we are living in may require some serious adjustments from all of us, so take a deep breath and just do your best. Remember that as we cautiously navigate life during this pandemic, we need our relationships at work and at home to remain on solid ground. Because that’s how we will continue to move forward. 

The future will be what we make of it, so if you’re ready to get the personality development training your team(s) need, contact us today. 

The Culture (R)evolution starts with you! 

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4th installment of a 5 part series.

The Steady personality type under stress will often dig their heels in and stick to their old routines. They need a stable environment and are very reluctant to confront change and conflict.  If they feel that their environment is in danger of change or that they have to engage in conflict, the Steady will typically avoid the situation and potentially hold a grudge. Take Brilliant Belinda for example.  

Brilliant Belinda tends to be introverted and wants her life to be calm and predictable. She prefers to move at a steady pace, taking things gradually and implementing them. Belinda doesn’t like personal confrontations or difficult conversations, but she is really good at mediating for others. She also really dislikes change. She prefers to get into a groove and stay there. Brilliant Belinda embodies the old saying, “slow and steady wins the race.” 

Under Stress Brilliant Belinda Becomes Begrudging Belinda 

Belinda has had to navigate a lot of changes over the last year because of the Coronavirus. She’s a writer and has always loved the flexibility of working from home. She likes the quiet and she doesn’t have officemates to distract her. However, her roommate, Kelly, is now having to work from their apartment too. Kelly took over the kitchen/den area leaving Belinda with nowhere but her bedroom to work. Belinda agreed to the arrangement, but now she’s not happy about it.

Kelly spends all day on conference calls walking around and talking loudly. And the lack of silence is driving Belinda crazy. She doesn’t like being cooped up in her bedroom, or having to listen to Kelly’s phone calls all day. I mean, she’s trying to come up with a storyline for Pete’s sake! Belinda’s stress level is climbing and she’s having difficulty expressing her feelings because she thinks it will create conflict with her roommate. Outwardly, she seems fine, but inside she’s starting to boil, as Begrudging Belinda takes over for Brilliant Belinda.

Belinda wants Kelly to notice that she’s not happy with the situation and to offer to do something about it, but she seems to be completely unaware. And Kelly comments all the time, on how great it is to work from home! Yesterday, Kelly was on a call til 7pm and Belinda felt like a prisoner in her own home.  She was so angry that she left the apartment without saying good-bye and slammed the door behind her. 

Tips For The Steady & Those That Work With Them

The Steady personality type is normally even keeled and all about collaboration, but when stressed out, they can go quiet. They crave peace and are unsettled by conflict. The reality though, is that everyone should be able to share their feelings in a way that allows for issues to be solved diplomatically and effectively. So, if you are a Steady type, remember that holding onto frustration or anger is just delaying a future explosion, and one that you won’t be in control of. Taking the time now to express yourself calmly will help to prevent this from happening. 

If you live or work with a Steady, remember that they are incredible team players and want to be a part of the solution, not the problem. So, encourage them to speak their mind and then give them thoughtful feedback that shows you respect their thoughts and feelings. We can all work together to keep a Brilliant Belinda from becoming a Begrudging Belinda! And if you or your team needs a little help navigating the personality waters, reach out to us today. 

The culture (r)evolution starts with you!

Next Up: The Perfect/Conscientious Personality Type Under Stress

This post was originally published on April 26, 2020.

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Read Part 2!

 The Influencer under stress is not a pretty sight. Take Brilliant Betty for instance. Betty is extroverted, loves people and is terrific at bringing people together to support a vision, mission or project. She needs to feel liked and accepted, so she seeks out opportunities to receive attention from others. Now this attention isn’t a ‘nice to have’ for Betty. It’s an emotional need that’s like oxygen for her.

Now Betty is a ton of fun to be around, but meeting deadlines are often a challenge for her. And she often underestimates the amount of time required to finish her work.

Betty also struggles with formal structure and organization, preferring a more free flowing environment. In a perfect world, Betty would funnel all her natural Influencer talents toward her team or family goals. She’d create a plan and rallying cry, gather everyone’s support, and then cheer them on with her endless positivity. 

But the reality is it’s not a perfect world. Stress and structure infiltrate her daily life, and she’s still having to work remotely due to COVID-19. She likes having her husband and kids home with her because she’s such a people person. But the work dynamic is real struggle. She’s been assigned to a new team and she’s never met them in person! Brilliant Betty feels isolated from her office peeps and it’s causing her cheerful, friendly outlook to disintegrate.

She loves the little office oasis she’s created for herself at home. But without friends to chat with, the constant affirmation from her in-office fan club, a physical boss to keep her coloring inside the lines, and having to figure out how to interact with a whole new team is stressful. Her kids seem to need something all the time, and her husband is no help. He’s locked in his office on calls all day. She was so stressed yesterday that she yelled at her kids and one of her teammates. In the blink of an eye, Brilliant Betty transformed into Ballistic Betty.   

Helping the Influencer Under Stress

It may seem strange, but under a lot of stress and pressure, the Influencer can go into attack mode. When this happens to Betty she knows she’s out of control and that acting inappropriately is a lose-lose situation for everyone involved. So how can Brilliant Betty maintain a sense of balance and safeguard herself and others from her ballistic alter ego? Here are three simple tips to give Betty a P.A.T. on the back and help her stay on track.

P: Positivity

The Influencer needs to feel accepted and so they require a lot of positive feedback. Check-in with them often and remind them of their value within the team. This will be helpful especially during stressful times when they may be more talkative, expressive and attention-seeking. 

A: Assume Responsibility

The Influencer is often the ‘idea’ person on a team because of their creativity. However, they often fall prey to disorganization. This is especially true when they take on too much. Disorganization can lead to stress and you now know what can happen to Betty when she’s stressed. So help the Influencer stay organized and on task with a process called “time blocking”(https://www.wikihow.com/Time-Block) or Trello boards (https://trello.com). These methods are more visually appealing and interactive than a regular calendar. Plus they’ll help the Influencer make full use of their time. That way they can complete all of their projects, assignments, and tasks.

T: Talk

If you are an Influencer type and feeling stressed and vulnerable at work, it’s important to get to the bottom of what’s creating the stress. Talking to a manager or team member you work closely with is a good starting point. It’s possible that by outing the stressors, you can work together to come up with a better solution. You could speak with someone in HR or even a private counselor to air your feelings. Their objective response can help you create a plan for managing your stress.

Conclusion

Brilliant Betty and her fellow Influencers can be incredibly valuable team members. However, the influencer personality type under stress can derail their efforts and damage their relationships within the team. The key then, is to understand how best to work with the Influencer. This involves helping them feel like an important member of the team. Then make sure they have organizational tools that appeal to creatives. Finally, remember that the Influencer often needs to talk about their feelings in order to process them. Keeping Brilliant Betty from becoming Ballistic Betty is often as simple as lending an ear. 

If you’d like to learn how to work better with the Influencers in your life, contact us today. We provide personality development that focuses on understanding why we show up the way we do, and how to proceed productively with that information.

Up Next: The Peaceful/Steady Under Stress

This post was originally posted April 26, 2020.

You may also like:

It Takes A Village

Building Resilience Amidst Uncertainty – Part 1

Diversity & Equality: Our Story

Your Personality at Work