5th installment of a 5 part series:
YOUR PERSONALITY TYPE AND STRESS RESPONSE
Meet Brilliant Billy
As a Conscientious personality type, Billy’s real strength as a workmate is his aim for perfection. When he does something, he does it right. He’s deep and thoughtful, serious and purposeful and even (at times) prone to genius. Billy’s talents also lie in his creative abilities, which means he’s great to have in a brainstorming session. He can also be self-sacrificing and sensitive to others. He takes other’s feelings into consideration even when they’re not around to speak for themselves.
Morphing into Back Down Billy
On a typical day, Billy needs a good balance of space and silence to be his best at work and at home. Unfortunately, he’s still having to work remotely which isn’t conducive to supporting these needs. Working from home has been really challenging for him. And, although for the most part, he’s settled into a routine, he’s finding it difficult to connect with his team and manager.
To top it off, when Billy needs support, he isn’t likely to ask for it. Instead, he prefers to go it alone, so he can control the outcome. The problem with this is it takes teamwork to make the dream work. And because Billy is primarily working from home, it’s hard for those he works with to recognize the signs that he may need some support.
Billy’s New Normal
Though Billy has pretty much adapted to his new normal the pandemic is still an ever present threat. And, splitting his time between working from home and going into the office isn’t helping, especially with his penchant for perfection. The ambiguity around what that’s actually going to look like is making his anxiety worse and he feels like his head might explode. His need for perfection is not achievable, and Billy feels himself begin to descend into total chaos.
With this much stress building up, his awesome attributes are about to take a leap right out the window. Under stress and emotional duress, he becomes an altogether different person, shutting down and going into avoidance mode. This way of dealing (or NOT dealing) with stress doesn’t help Billy at home or at work.
It’s Time to Give Billy Some Attention
Billy’s normal M.O. is an aim for perfection but this situation is far from perfect.
So what’s a guy to do?
If you are feeling a kinship with Billy, try these tips on for size:
- Adjust those perfectionist expectations. Recognize and verbalize that things aren’t “business as usual” right now and focus on what you can control and affect. That includes keeping those emotions in check and being aware of how you’re showing up for your coworkers. This will even come in handy for those loved ones you’re currently sharing your living/workspace with.
- Give more praise and less criticism because, come on, there is enough of that in the world right now. Instead, channel your inner empathy. This will demonstrate how much you value others. And it will build up others, creating general feelings of positivity and wellbeing.
If you live or work with a “Billy”, support his need for control and structure amidst the chaos. The simple act of respecting his time can go a long way in bringing his brilliant side to the surface. Preface a conversation with “Is now a good time to talk?” and in this way, help him prepare for a purposeful, productive and positive discussion. You can also offer to help when you see that he’s overwhelmed. He may not take you up on it but the fact that you offered, will go a long way with him.
Moving Forward as a Billy or With a Billy
As you’ve discovered throughout this series, personality plays a big part in how we show up in the world. And it directly relates to the behavior we exhibit when stress and pressure are just too much. If we were Tom Hanks living on an isolated island with only Wilson to talk to, this wouldn’t be a problem. But that’s not how we live and operate. When our personality bumps up against someone else’s in a not-so-friendly or unhealthy manner, there will be negative consequences for both parties. And this type of thing could happen several times during a typical day even under the best of circumstances.
Being confined to your home with your family, figuring out how to work remotely, and not knowing what the future will look like, makes for some major stress. Our human need for immediate release may cause us to act out by barking orders, yelling, giving in or avoiding. Or we may find ourselves on the receiving end of one or more of those responses.
We all know that sometimes maintaining your own brilliant self is easier said than done. And this has never been more true than now. The world we are living in may require some serious adjustments from all of us, so take a deep breath and just do your best. Remember that as we cautiously navigate life during this pandemic, we need our relationships at work and at home to remain on solid ground. Because that’s how we will continue to move forward.
The future will be what we make of it, so if you’re ready to get the personality development training your team(s) need, contact us today.
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